Sunday, 29 June 2014

Werebelushi rants: Snooz Bros

Werebelushi rants:
Snooz Bros


(We see a Werebelushi who looks and sounds like John Belushi,  he is sitting at a table of sorts -  looking at his dvd collection)

Hello everyone and welcome back to another Werebelushi Rant.  I was looking in the movie/game rental place that is near the local pizza parlor,  looking for a good movie to review or rant on and guess what I found?   A Blues Brothers spoof movie called The Snooz Brothers!   They’ve even tried to parody the cover-art from the original Blues Brothers as well.

The movie starts with Blake Snooz -  just being released from prison by his parole officer and meeting up with his brother Dalwood.   Ha, ha, ha -  Dalwood -  get it?  It almost rhymes with Elwood!   Whoever is playing Blake sounds nothing like John Belushi,  he sounds more like Dan Fogler and he even resembles Fogler in Balls Of Fury.

Dalwood is even worse as he sounds more like Tom Hanks than Dan Aykroyd.  So,  Blake and Dalwood drive off in their Snooz-Mobile,  which looks like a poorly made parade float.   Ha, ha get it?  Because in Animal House the Deathmobile was disguised as a parade float!   Seriously...whoever designed this parody Bluesmobile knows nothing about how to design a car properly.   Oh and they really try to hammer it in that it’s a supernatural car,  even go so far as to reference The Car AND Christine at the same time.   I wish I was watching those movies instead.

So they find out that the Puppy Orphanage Factory...i’m not kidding,  it’s a dog-pound, a factory and an orphanage all combined for the sake of one overly cute cliche.  And we get our Curtis knockoff in the form of Otis.  Who wants to bet that Otis will die of old age 18 years later?

The two boys go through a series of obstacle ridden missions in order to get their band back together including encountering crazed rednecks,  bikers,   foreign extremists and...animal rights activists?   I don’t remember that part of the original Blues Brothers at all.  Oh and by the way,  love how the nun in this movie looks like a genderbend version of Danny Devito’s Penguin.

Also what the hell is up with the Snooz Mobile becoming an Autobot?  I don’t recall the Bluesmobile being a transformer.   Unless of course someone did come up with a Bluesmobile transformer,  now that would be awesome.

I know a lot of people have questioned Nathan’s appreciation for the greats like John Belushi and so forth because according to them,  Belushi was reportedly sexist and hated women,  as well as being a drug-addled sadsack but I personally don’t believe a word of that.    Yes,  I KNOW he had a drug related problem and he did have a few problems in his life but he was NOT that bad.  What do you think,  Shebelushi?

You have some very valid points here.  I know that personally I knew Belushi was never like that,  no disrepect to Jane Curtin or anything - but still...she was kind of over-reacting or making it up.  Plus it was a different time.   The 60’s and 70’s were when you had those shows like Leave It To Beaver or The Dick Van Dyke Show in which the women just were portrayed as stereotypical housewives.)

The movie Wired portrayed him in a very negative fashion and I didn’t like that all -  not to mention that fantasy elements had no place being in a movie about a real person,  the whole movie was nothing but one extremely crappy feature length PSA about the ‘horrors of drug use’ and was just flat out insulting.    I hope that the new John Belushi biopic approved by John’s ex-widow is better and does a better job than that movie did.  I mean having elements of the afterlife in a movie about a person like John Belushi is like having a homage to Aliens in a biopic about Neil Armstrong or Buzz Aldin.   Or having a subplot involving Chinese Dragon Warlords in a Bruce Lee biopic.

I have a feeling that it probably will.   It hasn’t got a release date yet or any info on who is going to play the role of Belushi,  but I have high hopes for it.)

This movie really doesn’t know the first thing about parodying the Blues Brothers,  I mean the actors playing Blake and Dallwood don’t even resemble Belushi and Aykroyd,  not to mention the setting looks absolutely nothing like the town of Chicago.   It looks more like they filmed it on a soundstage.   

Also...what the hell is up with the random celebrity cameos?   I mean we got a ton of celebrity cameos in this movie,  most likely the same people who starred in previous movies made by the company that made this.   So far this is a pretty awful attempt at a Blues Brothers spoof,  the Snooz Bros aren’t likable in the slightest,  the plot makes no sense,  and the song numbers are awful and off-key.

But I do like how they make fun of the non-sequel Blues Brothers 2000 in certain parts and especially during the end credits were the last credits stinger goes something like this:  “Coming soon to a dvd player near you,  Snooz Brothers 3000!”.   Of course they actually DO a show a bit of the Snooz Brothers 3000 movie on there as well,  like for example Not-So-Mighty Hank replacing Blake as a nod to Mighty Mack replacing Belushi’s Jake,  the RuPaulesque drag queen as the Queen Mousette parody,  the annoying brat who serves as the spoof of Buster Blues,   and the scene with Otis’s kid being magically put into  Snooz Brothers clothing.   But also,  I like how they made fun of how nonsensical the plot to Blues Brothers 2000 actually was.  

The movie in general may be a poorly made spoof movie,  but I personally think this is a better and more legit followup to the original Blues Brothers than BB2K ever was and will ever hope to be.   It gets an eight out of ten,  but it is still pretty good despite the flaws this movie had.  Check it out if you must.

I’m That Werebelushi In The Shades and this has been my rant on the Snooz Brothers parody movie.    Are there any more parody movies like this?  Yes and I recommend them.     Now if you excuse me i’m going to watch the original Blues Brothers.

TftW: Haunted Towers

TftW:  Haunted Towers

Female Werebelushi TF

NOTE:  This is based on the concept for the Mel Brooks Disneyland ride Hotel Mel and is inspired by the British sitcom Fawlty Towers.


Our story begins at the Planet Horrorwood resort and cafe which is run by Reginald Horror of Horrorland from the Goosebumps books and tv show as well as his son Ritz and his daughter Henrietta.    Our friend That Werebelushi In The Shades had just woken up from his nap that night to go and get something to eat at the cafe,   when he was approached by Hugo the hunchback.

“Good evening Mr Werebelushi,  sir.   How did you sleep?”

“Terrible.   It all was bright and sunny and there were some bratty human kids outside playing.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.  But i’m glad you like it here at the hotel.”

“Well of course I love it here...and why wouldn’t I?   I get to meet all my favorite celebrity monsters here.   I met Linnea Quigley from Return Of The Living Dead last week,  she’s a real sweetheart.”

“Say...would you be interested in meeting the newest guest? She seems to have the same interests as you.”


“Her name is Andria Antakos.  She knows a lot about Werebelushis like you as well,  she seems to be a huge fan of your rants.”

Werebelushi jetted off to the television room where he saw Andre watching a double-feature of Christine and The Car.    He then took note of the Bluesmobile sculpture and the beanie bopper who resembled Lil Andria.

“Say there….I couldn’t help but notice you like Stephen King and horror movies from the 80’s and 90’s.”

“Oh,  thank you.”

“Allow me to introduce myself… i’m…”

“That Werebelushi In That Shades.”

“ did you know?”

“You’re famous around here.   I’ve been a fan of your rants for quite sometime.”

“Well,  it’s always nice to meet a new fan.”

“How do you like it here in the hotel?”

“It’s much better than the previous hotel,  the previous one had a woman with serious mental issues,   she claimed to be from a country i’ve never even been to and was ranting and waving about how one of the guests used negative stereotypes about said country against her claiming that guest was harassing her.”

“I’ve dealt with that woman before,  she’s a real witch if you ask me.”

“Tell me about it -  she threw that hissyfit over nothing.”

“And yet they still hire her?”

“Sadly,  yes.”

“Don’t tell me she used to be a Blues Brothers fan.”

“Yep,  former Elwood Blues fan-girl.”


“She discovered Russell Brand.”

“That man is my arch nemesis….he’s the bane of my existence.”

“You too?   I thought I was the only one who hated him.”

“Yep.   That man is absolutely off his rocker.”

“How he ever became popular to begin with is beyond me.”

Andria chuckled as she listened to Werebelushi,  she raised an eyebrow in a similar manner to the way he did.   She seemed to like his jokes and funny stories of his experiences.

“You know,  you’re really quite funny.   Have you ever considered getting your own show?”

“Well yeah,  I DO have my own show Werebelushi Rants.   I’m part of the Monster World variant of Thatguywiththeglasses.”

“I’ve been told you’re the Monster World version of Phelous,  is this true?”

“Kind of...well we do kind of look alike.”

“What do you personality loathe the most besides Russell Brand?”

“Internet trolls who don’t know when to quit or shut up,  soccermoms,  foreign extremist wannabes,  people who think the illuminati is real,  people who insult my taste in comedy, jokes targeted at people with autism,   betrayal,   being asked if i’m going to end up like my namesake,  people asking if i’m based on the other Belushi who isn’t John,  disrespect towards any race or religion,  racial slurs,  fat jokes..”

“Same here…”

“They’re just a bunch of hypocrites if you ask me,  I mean they can call me out all they want but I can’t do it back to them?   What kind of bullshit is that?”

“They obviously need lives of their own.”


“Care to share some examples?”

“Plenty.  Like for example I had a legit complaint against a certain teacher at a certain school my friend used to go to,   and those afforementioned douchebags apparently think that basically acting like an omega soccer-mom wannabe is ‘giving helpful advice’.”

“I know they’re teachers and kids are suppose to be listen to them,  but there’s a difference between helpful and being Drill Sergeant Nasty.”

“Yes...and I don’t think banning heavy metal music and taking away the kids belongings during class qualifies as being helpful.   Neither does letting a girl listen to High School Musical just because she has anger issues and the music calms her down.”   

“I know you’re supposed to put your belongings away during class so that you don’t distract your classmates  -  but schoolwork is so boring and tiring that you might as well start playing video games in class anyway.”

“I mean if I wanted to know how to do math I would just go the lazy route and download a million maths programs onto my computer and just sit back and let the programs doing the teaching for me.”

“Same here...I would also rather be sleeping than attending assemblies or taking part in some crappy production that rips off a much better musical.”

“And what about PE and Jump Jam?  Aren’t they the silliest things ever?”

“Hell yes,  even those exercise videos from the 80’s look more sensible by comparison -  and I OWNED several of those.”

“Even Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout?”

“Yes...I got the dvd of that one as well.”

“You know,  I thought you’d be just like you are in your rants.  But you’re actually a pretty calm werebelushi.”

“Well you know what they say...Mean Character,  Nice Actor.”

“You’re a troper,  I see.”

“Yep,   I sure am.”

“I know a lot about werecreatures but this is the first time i’ve ever gotten to know a Werebelushi before.”

“ do you know so much about me anyway?”

“Well...I have a bit of a supernatural secret of my own.”

“You’re not a succubus are you?”

“No,  silly.”

“Are you a vampiress,  witch or zombie?”


“Well...what are you?”

“I am a….I’m…”


Andria closed her eyes and concentrated as she slowly but surely transformed,  growing blackish fur all over her body as her raven black hair grew longer and messier,  she gained a bit more weight - developing a bit of muscle in addition to the fat.   Her fingernails and toenails both lengthened and sharpened,  becoming claw-like in the process.

Her clothing changed from its usual look into a plus size gothic attire,  as her ears stretched out and became pointed,  black fur growing around her face as her hair grew into a long mane,   her eyes turning a neon green colour and glowing as her eyebrows became slightly thicker,  her nose turning black as her canine teeth sharpened and her features morphed slightly,  becoming a cute and feminine version of the Werebelushi’s own features.

“I’m a Werebelushi as well!”

“Wow! I didn’t expect that.  That’s awesome.  Good to see another werebelushi here,  and a female one at that.”

“Well...this is a hotel for monsters,  just like Hotel Transylvania.  And I picked this place to stay because it’s relaxing.”

“Yeah,  there are lot of great choices for movies around here,  nothing but good fashioned 70’s,  80’s and early to late 90’s horror movies.”

“Not to mention they air classic episodes of SCTV and Saturday Night Live on the comedy channel.”

“Even better!  I swear The Best Of Belushi and The Best Of Farley never get old no matter times I watch them!”

“Oh,  and there’s a Thatguywiththeglasses channel.   Btw, which Nostalgia Critic review do you love the most?”

“Easily one of his most recent -  the Blues Brothers 2000.  You know how much I hate that sequel and how it made no sense.”

“Oh yes...certainly.   And you  know about my theories of Jake and Curtis passing away as well.”

“I certainly do.  I think that would make for a good creepypasta.”

“What was the most ridiculous scene from the movie?”

“Easily the Funky Nassau musical number.  I mean...what?  Did they suddenly stumble upon an episode of a fantasy based kids show or something?”

“If that movie was made today,  I bet you that they would have had it so Mousette makes them dance to either Harlem Shake,  Gentleman,  Thrift Shop,  What The Fox Say or even Gangnam Style.”

“Oppan Elwood style?”

“Yeah...also I bet if it came out today that the scene with Mighty Mack would have him singing a Moves Like Jagger type song.”

“He’s got the moves like Jake Blues,  he’s got the moves like Jake Blues,  he’s got the moooo-oooves like Jake Blues.”

“You know,  you’re pretty funny.”


“No problem. you need a female Werebelushi to serve as your female counterpart -  like say a Shebelushi?”


“Great,  i’ll gladly take up that job.   I’d love to do a review with you sometime.”

“You don’t need to ask,  i’m always open for requests.”

“Come on,  let’s sit down and talk about movies we could review.”

“Right behind you.”

And so that is the story of how our favorite Werebelushi met his female counterpart The Shebelushi In The Shades who would later appear with him in several of his own reviews, as for what happened later they watched horror movies together and talked about movies they had seen and enjoyed.

Remember if you ever need a break,  visit Planet Horrorwood,  the best hotel/resort for monsters and supernatural creatures this side of the Underworld.

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Saturday, 21 June 2014

Werebelushi Rants: MHSOJ

Werebelushi Rants:


(We see a male werebelushi who looks and sounds like John Belushi,  he is sitting at a table of sorts.)

Hello everyone I’m That Werebelushi In The Shades and welcome back to another Werebelushi rant.   Well it’s time for the Trollzie Awards again and today’s nominee is for the Most Horrible Sense Of Judgement.

Get this,  this one person I know of -  who is an absolute loathesome son of a witch,  out-right said that he HATES Weird Al Yankovic.   What?  That’s not right.  Who the hell would say that they HATE Weird Al?   That’s just not right.   Sir,  are you okay in the head?  Because to me it seems like you have an awful case of Lack Of Sense-Of-Humor Syndrome!

So...apparently if someone likes Weird Al,  that makes them autistic?   Wow...that’s the most vague and ridiculous judgement of a person based on an interest i’ve ever seen.  I mean really?  You do know that Weird Al is pretty much loved by EVERYONE with a sense of humor,  right?   You’re the only person I know who hates him,  and I can tell just by that -  that you’re obviously mental.

I am a huge Al fan,  hell I even reviewed UHF earlier!  It’s thanks to him that my friend Nathan got interested in becoming a song parodist,  it’s just a pity that Nathan’s early career as a parodist ended on a sour note.   Why do you think his old username was DrMusic?   Because he was paying homage to Dr Demento.    Nathan downloaded most of Al’s music and played them on Itunes back when his Itunes program was actually working.

Not only do I love Weird Al,  but I like other comedy song artists too -  like Bob Rivers (especially the Saint Nicholson piece with Jack Nicholson as Santa),   Flight Of The Conchords,  Julie Brown,   Tenacious D,  Rucka Rucka Ali and a wide variety of novelty songs  -  especially Purple People Eater,   They’re Coming To Take Me Away Ha-Ha and other songs like that.     It’s just it’s hard to find a comedic artist or singer who doesn’t resort to swearing and that’s why I like Weird Al,   because he relies on his own wacky style and doesn’t resort to sex jokes,  swearing or anything that would be too raunchy for family audiences.   Also….according to Wiki,  Weird Al is in a category known as Nerdcore -  so THERE!

One original song of his I particularly enjoy is Your Horoscope For Today,  which - as morbid as the lyrics are,  given that they’re about horrible misfortunes corresponding to people’s star signs -   is a very catchy and hilarious songs.     Call me a sadist or whatever but I just love dark humor,  especially in song form or in movie form -  that’s why movies like Heathers,  Beetlejuice,   Neighbours (The John Belushi one),  Nothing But Trouble,  The Addams Family movies,  Death Becomes Her and Weekend At Bernies are my favorites.    Why do you think I praise The Coen Brothers,  Tim Burton,  Joe Dante and John Landis so much?   Because they know how to do dark humour.   Also...i’m a huge Grim Adventures Of Billy And Mandy fan.

I don’t know what kind of psycho serum you were injected with to make you act like this, but to say you hate Weird Al like that -  that’s just not right.  That’s like saying that The Secret Of Nimh 2 is better than the first one,  and that movie is the Blues Brothers 2000 of animated sequels,  well non-Disney animated sequels that is.   I mean what’s next?  Are you going to say that The Room is actually a gripping drama that deserves an Oscar?   Or that Foodfight deserves to be up there with Toy Story in the list of greatest animated movies ever made?   

Whatever universe you came from sure isn’t mine,  you must be from the Bizarro universe or something.     Are you sure that you’re not getting Al confused with Russell Brand?  After all...Brand did STEAL Weird Al’s gimmick and judging by the pictures of him in the Arthur remake -  he stole Al’s LOOK too!  

And people accuse me of stealing Linkara’s look just because I have a similar looking hat?  People,  I have a Blues Brothers fedora hat and Linkara has a brown porkpie hat - there’s a difference.   Besides,  everyone already knows i’m dressed like Jake Blues!

I’m sorry but if you hate Weird Al,  there is something seriously wrong with you -  you’re either trolling or you’re from some bizzaro alternate dimension where good humor doesn’t exist and where Seltzerberg movies are considered comedy masterpieces.   I mean you don’t like Weird Al?    You sir….clearly aren’t human!

I mean where’s your sense of humour for pete’s sake?   Don’t tell me you lost it once you discovered troll sites!  Look,  there is a way to make fun of something or someone without making that person -  as you people put it...’butthurt’,  and I think it’s time you learned what REAL comedy is about.

Maybe if you weren’t busy sucking up to a troll site no one even gives a flying wererat’s behind about,   you’d have taken the time to listen to some GOOD comedy instead.  Might I suggest a crash course in Comedy 101?   It covers all styles of comedy including parodies and my personal favorite - slapstick.   

So….unless you were joking,  take back what you said about Weird Al this instant or i’ll use you as a post to sharpen my claws on like a cat does.   Sir,  you win the award for Most Horrible Sense Of Judgement.

I’m That Werebelushi In The Shades and this has been my rant on the winner of the Most Horrible Sense Of Judgement award,  now if you excuse me i’m going to have me some good old fashioned comedy.

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Friday, 16 May 2014

Werebelushi Rants: YMBAMT

Hello everyone,  i’m That Werebelushi In The Shades and welcome back to another Werebelushi rant,   now as you know the internet is often filled with assholes, weirdos and moronic trolls.   Now how can you tell if someone might be a moronic troll?  Well...let’s take a look at the sample Nathan has brought us today.

If you have an account that is strictly for the purpose of pointing out how crappy you think that certain things on DeviantArt are,  you might be a moronic troll.   I have nothing against sites that are DA related personally,  it’s just posts like that make me want to triple face-paw myself!

If you mention Nathan’s Monstermaster13 account in a negative fashion including bashing his photomanips  -  then you might be a moronic troll.  Come on,  be a little more original will ya?

If you think that any of his fantasy stories are real but yet you need someone to put out to you that they’re not -  you might be a moronic troll.   Because really?   Who would be stupid enough to think that an RP session or a story about a male human turning into what is essentially Christopher Walken as a badass vampire via hypnosis is real?  While that would make an awesome mini-series or movie saga or an epic videogame series,  it is by no means real.   And most of the stories are told from the point of view of his CHARACTER or another character who is affected by him,  so they are not real.

Real in the monster world,  yes - but in the real human world,  they do NOT exist! The sooner you realize this the better.   You’re just as dumb as the people who call Nathan the werejohncandy.   Guess what,  the werejohncandy WASN’T real either!   Neither are all the other were-celebrities.  They are just characters,  played very well by a good writer and roleplayer.

Yes,  there was a time Nathan really DID believe he was a werejohncandy and weregrinch,  but that was all in good fun and that resulted in him getting negative attention because of it.   He grew out of that phase,  people!   He only does the Monster stuff for fun,  which is to say -  you’re welcome to RP with him,  but openly bashing said work and claiming it is real?   Sorry,  but’re stupider than I thought.

If you openly called Nathan’s obsession a ‘fetish’ without even knowing what the REAL definition of fetish is,  you might be a moronic troll.   What is with people like you  not knowing what the real definition of fetish is?   Just because someone has a fascination for something or someone DOESN’T automatically make it a fetish,  the correct term is obsession.

Like for example,   you know how much I LOVE weight gain stories and art as well as how much I love furry/transformation art along with monster-girls - right?   I do not get off to any of those,   I am obsessively fascinated and in love with them -  but that does not mean I get horny from the sight of a man/woman getting fattened up,  or if I see a pic of a rat-chick with big Elvira styled breasts,   or if I look at pics at anthropomorphic Godzilla-like lizard-women.     

A fetish has two definitions to it.  The first is and I quote: “a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.”    Like for example inflation,  diaper fetishism,   weight gain,  giantess or shrinking.   It does NOT by any means mention people!   Yes there are different fetish subcultures,  and yes -  you could say that i’m part of the Bear subculture,  because i’m furry and rather hefty in build but still….there is technically no such thing as a PEOPLE fetish.  A fictional character based fetish,  maybe,  but only if the character has been involved in numerous fetish scenarios or started the fascination for said fetish,  like for example Jasmine in the Aladdin tv series,  the majority of Totally Spies episodes,  any cartoon with anthropomorphic animals as leads,   Violet from Charlie And The Chocolate Factory and so forth.  

And just what is wrong with having a fetish?  Everyone has a fetish or obsession they like to focus on.   It’s NORMAL,  true...some are a little weird even for my taste,  but’s a NORMAL thing!   Take me for instance,  my first crush was the character Constance from the TV show Taz-Mania!  Yes,   she is a koala,  i’m aware of that.   But she’s practically what got me into the whole BHM/BBW scene!  She’s a large,  heavy-set anthro koala dressed up as a maid.   And i’m pretty sure everyone knows that a maid outfit is basically one of many sexual fantasy outfits next to a sexy nurse,  police officer,  vampiress,  princess/queen,  Lara Croft,  Princess Leia’s gold bikini,  Catwoman,  Poison Ivy,  Harley Quinn,  Elvira/Vampira,  Princess Jasmine,   Xena,   a cheerleader,   sexy teacher,  or Jessica Rabbit!  The point is,  that Constance was a trucking babe!  And yet despite the fact I had a crush on her,   I knew she was fictional.   After all  -  Taz-Mania was a Looney Tunes spin-off,  and I don’t think that the real animals the characters were based on can talk like their animated counterparts.    I mean you would have to be a skilled ventriloquist in order to pull THAT off!

The second definition of a fetish is referring to an object that is worshipped due to it having magical abilities.   Again,  it does NOT mention people!  So if you got both of these definitions wrong,  then you have no brain.

Also...I don’t know anyone named Anonymous!  Unless of course you’re wearing a V For Vendetta mask and are part of a mysterious online group,  then the only reason your name is Anonymous is because you’re taking the coward's way out.   Anonymity always equals cowardice,  folks.   I don’t recall Nathan ever RPing with the likes of you even have a real DA account?  No?  Then I definitely do NOT know you at all!  And I know pretty much everyone involved with Nathan! left because he started according to you ‘exploiting’  his obssession for Christopher Walken?   That’s a pretty shallow excuse.   That’s like the time someone on another website I know called me out for being obsessed with Jay Leno!  

Really?  You stopped RPing with him just because he started exploiting as you put it,  his obsessions?   That’s pretty pathetic,  kid.   The only person i’ve known who nearly did to that with him was Ariana and at least she had a good reason too,   because she didn’t like her character being used and being forced to turn into the Hessian’s She-Hessian,  which is understandable because was a horrific experience.   Nathan’s character felt sorry for her and thus the reason why he recently cured her,   because he cared for her and didn’t want her to suffer,   the problem was that the curse was progressing even worse than it started out and making him lose his mind and his humanity.    You know, like what happened to Jeff Goldblum in The Fly?

If you think that Nathan really does think he is Christopher Walken,  you might be a moronic troll.   What Nathan does with his friends is harmless RPing,  and nothing more - he does NOT believe he really is Walken.    He is aware that what he’s doing is basically playing a character and he is playing along with it,   he is self-aware -  so he doesn’t need you to make fun of him like that.    He is capable of poking fun of himself,  he’s been doing it for years -  even the majority of his work reflects this.

I mean take me for example -  i’m a werebelushi.  I mean who has ever heard of a Werebelushi?  I mean what does he do every night?  Throw toga parties?  Put on a black suit,  fedora and shades and go on a mission from God with Dan Aykroyd?    

If you don’t know the meaning of self-aware or self-parody,  then you might be a moronic troll.  Nathan never takes his RP seriously,  he just has fun with it.   He basically does what is known on TVTropes as Adam Westing and he is damn good at it.   Not only does he take on the role perfectly,  but he hams it up like no other.    Now THAT is commitment to a role.

Nathan knows how to play the role of the Large Ham and also how it go into campy territory as well.   He may not be a professional actor,  but with the way he roleplays - he’s pretty damn close.   I’ve never seen anyone disappear into a role quite as well as he does,  he’s like Gary Oldman.   

I mean his performance as Chris is just amazing,  it’s like he’s studied every Walken movie in existence.   He’s got the mannerisms right and everything,  he even manages to insert Walken’s distinctively speech patterns and style into the role whenever he RPs as him.    True,  in real life he is a terrible Christopher Walken impersonator.   But he’s still pretty damn good in the role of Chris the alpha Walken.   That is perhaps the creepiest role Nathan has ever played, to playing an evil version of Russell Brand.  But it proves Nathan knows how to play a villain/monster just as well as he creates them!  

Also...he didn’t start ‘exploiting’  the Walken persona until recently,  because after posting on the Deviantart forums - some people took notice of his icon which was Christopher Walken and actually thought he was Walken.   And it’s a role that he is very proud of to this day -  and he’s not giving it up,  no matter what you say!   

If you don’t know the difference between a fictional character and the person who plays the character,   then you might be a moronic troll.   Nathan knows the difference between fantasy and reality,   he just prefers fantasy to reality -  but he is not delusional about that.   Yes,  he used to believe he was a mythical monster - but he grew out of that phase.

We all grow out of it.   Like for example,  me….after seeing Ghostbusters I wanted to live at the firehouse and be a member of the GBs,  but sadly -  I found out the harsh way that it was just a movie.   But was I upset about it?  A little,  yes - but I got over it and I still love Ghostbusters to this day.   Dan Aykroyd and I are still on good terms.

He has his reasons for preferring fantasy to reality,  it’s because reality is/was cruel to him on numerous occasions.   I mean after all,  he has been used,  betrayed,  lied to,  hurt,  abused,  and treated unfairly in general numerous times not to mention that the previous computers he had before this one kept crashing,   and the trauma he suffered after Sebastian,  Nico,  and Billy ALL passed away -  trust me,  losing a beloved pet can really be heartbreaking especially if that pet was a family favorite.    I mean I practically cried a river after my pet face-eating wombat Winston Blues died from a rare glandular disease.   I loved that wombat like it was part of the family.    He was the best face-eating wombat a werebelushi could ever ask for.

Nathan is not really hypnotized into thinking he is Chris Walken,  it’s just roleplaying and he’s just playing a character,   there are moments in which he acts just as himself and not in character.   Yes,  hypnotism does exist in real life but it is unsure if it really works or not.   At least from what i’ve read of it.

If you honestly think all of this is real and you didn’t get the point of this entire rant - you might be a moronic troll,  and more than that - you might possibly be insane,  mind you...if I had my way with you i’d force you to watch Wired,  the 2011 Arthur remake,  all Seltzerberg parody movies,  all late 2000’s Happy Madison Productions movies excluding Click,  the Twilight saga,  Fat Slags,   A Serbian Film,   Every single porno spoof movie The Cinema Snob has reviewed, Foodfight,  Freddy Got Fingered and Blues Brothers 2000 all on the same night until your head explodes like in Scanners or like Weird Al at the end of the Spy Hard music video.    

Because you seem like the most dense human being on the planet,  even the lunk-heads I used to hang out with at the gym are smarter than you,   even the idiots who called Nathan ‘werejohncandy’ are smarter than you.   Never in my whole life have I ever seen someone as moronic as you.   And also….how do you even know what the word assimilate means?   Unless you’re a huge sci fi buff or a Trekkie,  then you’re too stupid to even know what the word means.    Also...Walkens are based off vampires NOT the freaking Borg!    Yes,  Walken played a robot in the Stepford Wives remake - but again,  we didn’t know he was a robot until the end and he didn’t ‘assimilate’ anyone,   for the record the wives of Stepford were ALL implied to have a microchip installed in their brains that conditioned them into being perfect although it is also implied they were robots.   But note how Glenn Close’s character was the only non-robot in the town,   in fact she was the one who came up with Stepford and how started the process of making the women into the titular wives.

While mind control and brainwashing are both things I do not approve of normally,  when they’re done like this or as a plot point they are more tolerable -  which is why the Walken RP sessions and the storyline that spawned from them work so well.  

If you failed to understand my rant at all -  then you must definitely are a moronic troll,  i’m That Werebelushi in The Shades and this has been my rant on...uhhh….I forgot what I was ranting about,  oh well.   Now if you excuse me i’m going to visit the grave of my beloved pet face-eating wombat.

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